Organic Vegetable Gardening Tips: Pixie Retort (guest blogger)

Posted: April 5, 2009 by Thrivelearning in Lifestyle Choice
Tags: , , ,

Found this post on my doorstep this morning when I went out to check cattle and fences. It was written on a piece of an old paper grocery bag (remember those?), wrapped around a corn cob, and tied up with used baling twine.

While I didn’t see any clue how it got there, I did find at least one set of raccoon tracks – which stories say pixies like to ride for longer treks.

It’s from Billy Bob Bubba (no relation that I know of):

I’m sorry, venerable wise one, but you have made a common mistake.

It’s easy to make, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

I know you will be kicking yourself when I reveal it to you.

It will be so obvious.

Pixies and the old gods are one and the same!

As faith in the old gods declined with the advance of Western science, they were gradually reduced in size until they became the size of pixies.  Some were reduced until they became quarks, leptons, hadrons, genes and other small phenomena we believe in but don’t understand.  Other deities have been reified and have maintained their stature as “attitude”, anal-retentive personality (along with most other personality “types”), depression, , obsessive compulsive disorder, race, class, education with the help of the many sociologists and psychologist who are their acolytes.

Other old gods have morphed into Corvettes, Mustangs, Harley-Davidsons, speed boats, yachts, McMansions, giant flat screen TVs and all the other seemingly physical objects which men worship, bow down to and believe in.

In gardening, some of the old gods have been able to keep a stronger following than pixies by becoming “organic agriculture,” “sustainable agriculture” (which has exploded in power as sustainable communities and become even more powerful than the old god it once was as just plain old “sustainability”) “vertical integration,” federal crop programs for the wealthy, affirmative action, institutional racism and a host of other concepts which are not based in anything tangible and require blind faith in order to continue to exist and hold power.

In fact, and this is where I bow down in obeisance to your most wondrous Oneness, all that is tangible and true is in the garden.  “Closer to God in a garden than anywhere else on earth” is a saying thankfully repeated often.

  • If its not true in the garden, its not true at all.
  • If it works in the garden, it has the potential to become a new god.

But now we are really getting off the topic of pixies.  Creating new gods is not something I care to get into this morning.

Instead I’ll just get in the truck and head up the mountain to see how the boys are doing in the woods.

Dropped three of them off to see how they make it without any of their material gods for a couple of days.  Bet they are eager to get their cell phones and video games and ipods back.  Or, more hopefully, maybe those gods have a little less control on them now.

Just believe and you will be happy.

Blissful ignorance is loads of fun until you hit the brick wall.

  1. MaryloubethSuzieQ says:

    You may have left out a few “Gods”, such as sports teams, professional or other wise…and of course hunting season, especially deer season in this area is considered a holiday off work…try and get a vacation day during October or November!!!
    Just a thought for Billy Bob Bubba to consider.

  2. Cool site, love the info. Very funny – but useful. ;p

  3. Hey good stuff…keep up the good work! I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,) Next time, I’ll try to make some relevant comments about your content, but have to run right now… Thanks again for hanging in there! But hey, drop by my profile and watch my videos – I’m a spammer, after all… Mail my scambot:

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s