Forget government and healthcare – what's important is closer to us – and it's in our food…

Posted: September 3, 2009 by Thrivelearning in Lifestyle Choice
Tags: , , , ,

Found what we really, really should be having town halls about – forget the government’s socialist conspiracy to take over health care!

This is far more vital and affects everyone’s lifestyle choices…

From Dr. LaBush’s Links to Learning:

!!!   BREAD IS DANGEROUS   !!!

I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice….

1.   More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2.   Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread consuming households score below
average on standardized tests.
3.   In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life
expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high;
many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
influenza ravaged whole nations.
4.   More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating
bread.
5.   Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as
one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats
more bread than that in one month!
6.   Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer,
Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.
7.   Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of  bread and given only
water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8.   Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as
butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9.   Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90
percent water, it follows that eating bread could  lead to your body being taken
over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey
bread pudding person.
10.  Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11.  Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12.  Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant
scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics,  we propose the following bread restrictions:

1.   No sale of bread to minors.
2.   A nationwide “Just Say No To Toast” campaign, complete with celebrity
TV spots and bumper stickers.
3.   A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might
associate with bread.
4.   No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children)
may be used to promote bread usage.
5.   The establishment of “Bread-free” zones around schools.

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Comments
  1. AnnaHopn says:

    Can i take a one small picture from your site? You use such great photos – oh, I see they are from Flickr. You certainly make a funny point about government intervention in health care. Never thought bread was so hazardous – just goes to show you what happens when Obama gets involved…
    AnnaHopn

  2. Jinny says:

    Hi, Everything dynamic and very positively! 🙂 Love your ideas about how the government should stay out of people’s way. Obama, especially. Balls. Have a nice day!

  3. Home Health Care Services…

    The future of the Home Health Care Services business looks very promising…. but even more so if they would take your advice and train their patients to simply release on the various difficulties they had had in their lives. After all, one doesn’t have to constantly relive the past if they can simply let it go – do they?!?

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